Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Officially 19 months now...

Yeh, you read that correctly. It's officially been 19 months now, that Brent and I have been TTC'ing. I could probably count the months, before the first deployment, and the months, between the first and second deployment. But I won't. That would only add up more months, and make it even more depressing. But, officially, it's been 19 months now. He's has his check ups, and everything is okay with him. I've had my check ups, and I've been told, there really doesn't seem to be an answer on why we've not gotten pregnant yet. I show no signs of cysts, no signs of any scar tissues from any infections, what so ever. I have healthy, normal ovaries, and great egg supply. So there just isn't any reasons for it to not be happening.

It's just a bit discouraging. Alot of people say it will happen when it will happen. To stop stressing over it. But I've done research, and thinking and worrying about getting pregnant, has nothing to do with not getting pregnant. So it's okay for me to think about it and wonder and just question why. I try not to, but when others around me are having babies, and getting pregnant. It's a bit hurtful. As joyous as those moments are, it's painful too. I can't wait till we can start our own family.

What bothers me the most I think, is that everything is normal and regular, and yet there is no answers, and it's just not happening. I know in time, we will get to start a family. It just depends on how and when. Do we wait and see if it happens soon, or do we wait and hope it happens, and it not happen for another 18 months or more. Or do we take the next step? What is the next step? There is IUI, IVF(both of which are invasive and fairly expensive) or adoption. There are many choices, and just figuring out which one is best, is the hard part. But right now, we're just at a stand still. We're at a point of it's not happening, but what do we do next. I want to wait and let it happen naturally, but it doesnt' seem to be happening that way, so I don't know. Anyways, I just wanted to let it all out and get it off my chest. I have tried to talk about it, with others, but it's hard or they don't have time, or they have their own issues. So, it is just nice to get it off my chest.

Please keep us in your prayers, or just think about us, and make some wishes. Which ever are your beliefs. We appreciate anything that come our way.


No comments:

Post a Comment